Dear Reader,
Ever felt like you were spiraling out of control with every action you ever take? That’s how I felt the moment that I laid my eyes on him. It wasn’t like how people explain in stories and in movies. There were no cherubs floating around, singing random songs in the sky and there were no thunderous claps of thunder from the heavens. There wasn’t a spotlight that cast a single light down on him, and I didn’t feel like I had been punched in the stomach or something weird like that. The only feeling that I felt was the feeling of curiosity. He seemed so strange, yet interesting. Seeing him for the first time was just like any other day, only the moment my eyes focused on him I knew that something was going to change. I didn’t know whether the change would be good or bad, but it just seemed like one of the chances that would have to be taken in order to satisfy my curiosity. You couldn’t blame me though, just glancing at him mystified me and I knew that I just had to talk to him. Too bad I didn’t know that interacting with this entrancing boy would change my life completely; nearly sending me on the brink of insanity, but also letting me experience the thrill of having my first love. Who am I kidding? Those are all just excuses that I use to make up for the fact that I was head over heels in love with the first boy to actually notice me…not that he actually did notice the REAL me. Boys, boys, boys…why does there have to be so much drama centered around all of you?
Through my experiences I’ve learned one thing…probably the most important thing when it comes to boys. Don’t trust a cute face and never believe all the romantic shit they tell you. Like seriously, I’ve concluded that they pull half the shit they say out of their asses. Anyway, most boys only want one thing and unless you’re willing to give that thing to them and watch them run out of your life heed my words. Four years ago I probably would have said, “What kind of drug are you on…and where can I get some?” (like most of you all are thinking right now) if someone told me to never completely trust a guy but thinking back…I was an idiot. A completely naïve idiot who believed that there could be no evil in the world and all guys were trustworthy. Hah! It only took meeting the guy of my dreams to make me realize that all guys are in absolutely NO way as innocent and caring as they may appear. Once again, reading this you might think “What kind of drug is this girl on?” and I might just be on some kind of drug; but then again I might not be. Maybe I’m just a girl who wants to share her experiences and maybe help any other girls who are going through/ gone through the crap that I’ve had to put up with.
My story of love and heartbreak isn’t exactly the happiest story in the world but I’m sure that you can prosper and somehow relate to what I’ve been through. I’m not the first person to be used by the guy she loved and I certainly won’t be the last person. All I can hope is that by sharing my story, others will know how to cope and relate.
P.S. I’m not on any kind of drugs except for my gummy vitamins.
